UNDERSTANDING YOUR SEXUALITY IN YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP

 According to Richard and Brenda Excely 

In the book tilted : Developing love and 

And intimacy in your marriage ", 

They called it " Mars and  Venus in the bedroom .

The man and woman are different sexual 

Creatures,  the way  the man responds to 

Sexual urge is different from the way the 

woman responds to it. 

The man gets aroused easily and begins the

Act immediately,  while the woman  is 

Still trying to queue in, by the time the man 

Gets to climax and feels satisfied,  and sleeps 

Off ,  the woman lies awake still unsatisfied. 

This often makes women have a bad notion 

About sex in marriage. 

Sex is called "Love making ", it simply

Means  giving love to each other,  as a result 

of this,  the man needs to be sensitive to his 

Wife's sexual needs and desires, he should 

be patient enough to wait for his wife to 

Attain the same level of sexual arousal

That he has reached,  in order for the 

Woman not to feel cheated and dislike sex 

Forever, sex is meant to be enjoyed and not

Endured.

*WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW 

Intimacy Is More Than Sex...

   Some years ago,   a research was carried 

Out on  sex and intimacy by Ann Landers,  

In her observation, 72 percent of the 

Respondents who happens to be women 

Said they would be content just to be held

Close and treated tenderly and forget about 

The sex act.

  Women , who are referred to as the weaker

Sex , would prefer to be held , kissed 

Passionately and they won't bother having 

Sex with their partner.

Intimacy means a whole lot to them more 

Sex itself. 

For a man, sex is a whole lot more than a 

A physical act, it is a way of expressing his

Closeness, tenderness, and  deep sharing.

  When a man feels alone and doesn't want 

To talk to anyone,  he has no words to 

Express the pain that he feels, He only 

Wants to make love to his wife ,  on the 

Other hand, the wife just wants intimacy.

It is not  every time spent together that 

Should involve penetration,  passionate

 kisses and powerfu hugs are enough to 

Make the day for the couple, without sex

Itself. 

  Men should know how to meet the needs of 

Their wives by not only demanding for sex 

At all times, but also having an intimate 

Heart to heart talk with their wives ,  and 

Also hugs and kisses. 

* AN ISSUE WITH SEX

Theology Of Sex....

   What we believe,  hear and read , 

Sometimes have a long way to go in

Influencing our theology about sex.

  Some youths had a very wrong theology 

And notion of sex, because  they have been 

Taught in churches that sex on its own is evil

Instead of making them understand that sex

Outside marriage is the evil one, not sex in

Marriage. 

They grow up with this theology and enter 

Into marriage with the notion that sex is 

Evil .

So, women  feel that their husbands are 

Being unatural in their sexual desires.

They felt they are commiting sin when 

Having sex with their husbands. 

This makes sex to be  endured instead of 

Enjoyed in their marriages. 

They feel guilty when their husbands want 

To have sex with them with the lights on, 

Or during the day. 

They feel guilty to bath together with their 

Husbands,  they feel guilty when their 

Husbands see their nakedness. 

  Sex is a gift from God that should be 

Enjoyed and cherished in marriage.

At the garden of Eden,  Adam and Eve were 

Naked but they felt no shame, this is how

It is supposed to be with married couples. 

* PLANNING FOR SEX 

  Planning is a very important aspect in

Human lives, as couples plan for everything 

They do in life ,  couples should also plan for 

Sex.

It is generally believed that whenever either 

of the couple wants sex, their partners 

Should give it to them. 

Yes that is true, but in another instance,  it is 

Good that Couples plan for sex.

Sex is more than the physical activities,  it 

Has a way of enriching and growing love 

Among couples.

The man must be in his right frame of mind 

To have sex, he shouldn't come home drunk 

and pounce on his wife,  Such sex won't be 

Enjoyed,  Same goes to the women, the 

woman shouldn't just open her legs for her

husband just to please him when she knows

She is not in the mood. 

This is the reason why sex should be

Something that is planned,  I don't mean 

There should be a timetable for sex, but the 

man and woman must be ready , physically 

and emotionally,  if the man happens not 

To be in the mood,  the woman should 

Try her best to put him in the mood,  and 

Vice versa. 

In order to have a sweet and pleasurable 

Love making. 

   In conclusion ,  sex is not what should

Exert pressure either from the man or the 

Woman,  sex is meant to be enjoyed and not 

To be Endured ,  the man should not force 

His wife to have sex with him, it must be 

Of her own free will  .

  The woman on the other hand, should not 

Give conditions to the man before allowing 

Him touch her. 

For example,  she should not ask him for an 

Amount of money,  a change of wardrobe 

A new car e.t. c. Before they  can have sex.

Her body belongs to her husband and 

Shouldn't be paid for. 

With these,  couples should  be able to have 

A healthy sex life ,  a beautiful and happy  

Marriage .