UNNOTICED REASONS BEHIND ABUSES IN MARRIAGES

 Domestic violence, abuse, cheating , and inattention in marriages has become so rampant in our today world.

It is usually seen on the part of the men.

No man In his right mind will marry a woman just to beat her, abuse and cheat on her .

These couples once has happy and peaceful marriages, before the sudden change of the man's attitude, 

This is why you usually hear these women from abusive marriages saying  " this was not the once peaceful, loving and caring man that I married ".

Why don't we look at some reasons behind such change in attitude. 

Sometime the man himself may be the reason,  sometimes friends and family of either the man or the woman maybe the reason. 

But many at times , the woman herself maybe the reason. 

Below are some of the reasons :

*When a  woman  doesn't do   something for a living she will always depend on her husband for everything. 

She sits at home, folding arms, crossing legs , watching movies, pressing phone and gossiping from left to right, then when her husband struggles to make money  she will spend it recklessly, especially the extravagant women .

Then when the money is no longer coming forth, maybe her husband's business stops booming as before or his salary for five months haven't been paid. 

She changes to a monster overnight, she starts nagging and shouting that her husband is an irresponsible man , who can't care for his family and she will expect the man to remain calm.

She will nag and complain to the extent that her husband will lift his hands on  her .

In order to reduce the rate at which domestic violence increases, the woman should have something she does for a living. 

If it can be done,  no man should marry a woman who is idle and jobless. 

Even if it is a small business, let her do.

*When a  Woman  doesn't consider the feelings and emotions of her husband. 

There are lots of women who does whatever they like , without considering how their husbands feel , these are the selfish wives who cannot make sacrifices, they care all about themselves. 

I remembered a story about a woman who left the house untidy, she didn't prepare dinner, the plates and clothes were unwashed, the house was not swept e.t.c.

When her husband came back from work , he was surprised to see the house upside down while his wife was busy doing nothing. 

He asked her why and she replied that she just fixed and polished her nails, and she can't do any house chore because they are going to spoil her nails ,  can you imagine? 

The man happens to be a calm man, he changed his clothes, and started doing the house chores all by himself. 

If the man happens to be a rough and bad tempered man , what would have stopped him from beating the hell out of his wife that evening? 

*When a Woman doesn't give her husband peace of mind 

There are some women who are the reasons why their husbands are suffering from heart attack, high B.P and other health problems. 

These women will not allow their husbands have peace of mind, they complain about everything. 

After a very busy and stressful day , instead of the man to be welcomed with a warm embrace and a delicious meal from the wife, he will be greeted with different kinds of complain over nothing. 

That is why some men , instead of coming home after work, will prefer to stop at a friend's house, because he knows he will only be going home to face complains and issues from his wife .

When this happens, a man who is supposed to love his wife will end up hating and maltreating her as a payback for the troubles she is causing him .

*When a Woman allow friends and family to run her home for her 

Most women , when they are already married will keep on carrying their marital issues to friends and family, who will end up giving her advice that will ruin get marriage and home. 

When she listens to every advice from friends, she can't make her marriage work by herself. 

Some friends will tell her "don't allow your husband control you, let him know that you are in charge,  don't show him you are weak so he won't use you as  rag " 

These women will end up destroying their homes and even their own lives because of bad friends and family members. 

That is why we hear stories of men who kill their wives because of domestic violence, some women can't respect their husbands and know their place In a home.

They will argue about everything with their husbands,  rub shoulders with their husbands, fight and do all sorts of things because of advice from friends and family. 

*When a Woman doesn't take good care of herself 

As a woman , while dating a man , you should know what turns him on and off. 

You should know his likes and dislikes .

I know, 70 percent of men in Nigeria, prefer a slender woman who is also neat .

Why don't you as a woman take good care of yourself, so that your husband will always want you?

As a woman , you eat whatever comes your way in the name of food , you will be adding weight every day, and you won't bother .

You will be tying wrapper All about the house,  you won't bath well, you won't use good cream and deodorant in order to smell nice and decent  

When your husband eventually starts cheating on you , you will open your mouth wide to complain , but you were the reason behind such act .

Look , my fellow women, men are moved by what they see,  when you present yourself in a manner that is irresistible, I don't think a reasonable man  will have any reason to cheat on you .

Take good care of yourself, try to maintain a good shape, dress nice,  eat good and healthy foods, look nice , smell nice and your husband will never look at another woman .

Let us as women , help ourselves to reduce the  rate of abuse, domestic violence and cheating in our husbands.