RELATIONSHIP MATTERS

 Women are the most fragile among the two sexes on earth,  they need to be understood  and tolerated ,  they need to be cared for.   Some men fail in this aspect that is why they find it difficult to build and maintain a good relationship.  Men can fix some things in their relationships when they tolerate their women.  The lady's mind , I can say can not be known by just spending some time with her.  It can take a life time to know a woman  You can't just date for 6 months or one year and assumed to have known her, then when she does something unimaginable you will say ,  "I thought I have known you? " Some men will say, "let's date for  5 years so we can know each other very well ". My dear it doesn't work that way,  there are  more to that. Even as you are married to her , you are still knowing her. So, it takes a matured , understanding ,  tolerating , loving and  caring man to live with a woman. If you are no...

   The level at which women suffer physical abuse in marriage is alarming and uncalled for.   Domestic violence has become  a new vehicle that drives women to their early graces.   Domestic violence has continued to consume souls in Nigeria, Africa and the world at large, despite the intervention of Civil societies and concerned authorities to protect the women's rights and dignity.   Signing a marriage registry is different from a death warrant.  Life is sacred, you can think of marriage and other things when you have life . There is no future in a marriage where your life is not protected or secured.    To my utmost surprise, large number of women are not ready to walk away from an abusive marriage no matter the threat. Below are some reasons why some women cannot give up on their partners;  (1) Some women  come from the background where abuse is seen as normal.  These sets of women believe that anyone could go viol...

   In Africa, an  average of 10 people  everyday suffer physical abuse at the hands of a spouse or an intimate partner.   This amounts to 5 million men and women each year,  according to the National Coalition against Domestic violence.   Although intimate partners of both sexes suffer abuse, the majority of those abused are women,  every 24 hours in Nigeria, a woman is assaulted or beaten.    But domestic violence includes more than physical abuse . The U.S Department of Justice office on violence against women defines it as " a pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship to gain or maintain power over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional,  economic or psychological actions or threats that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorise,  to coerce, threaten, blame, hurt,  injure or wound someone ". What causes someone to inflict this kind of pain on...

    Peace is the absence of conflict, war or trouble. It is a state of calmness.  For a relationship to be peaceful,  love should not be asked for by either of the couple, rather it should be given freely and abundantly,  in fact it should be a way of life.    These two words " Peace and love" goes hand in hand for a great and splendid relationship.    A man cannot be in love with a woman he is not at peace with. Love cannot flow freely, if there is no peace in a relationship or marriage.    When you are at peace with someone,  you can't force yourself to love the person.  Love will become part of you. That is the problem in almost every area of life, in families, institutions, organizations of different kinds e . t.  c. We find it difficult to love our neighbours because we are never at peace with them, even when we claim to be, we are always battling with one wrong he or she has done to us. But when we let go, we wi...

    Many  women  are usually attracted to Beautiful and designers wedding gowns, they see at weddings.  While some are seeing their friends and age mates getting married and they want to get married too. Marriage is not about beautiful wedding gowns, golden shoes and jewellries.  A lot of women are always carried away by these fancy things about marriage without sitting down to think about their reasons for saying  "I do". That a woman is beautiful and have all it takes to get married does not guarantee a marriage made in heaven,  or that  she fast and pray everyday does not guarantee a beautiful and happy home. There is more to that. Every woman ought to know her reasons for saying "I do". Am I saying " I do " because the man is handsome and wealthy?  These things will fade away one day . Am I saying " I do " because I have gotten to a marriage able age?   Getting to a marriage able age does not guarantee a peaceful marriages....

    Love is an action word, it is more of a  A doing, it is not passive, that is  why when Two opposite sex come to  Love themselves, They bring passion, care and attention to it. But when love is not  properly managed,   Both parties tend to  misunderstand issues  And this leads to a clash.      When you love someone,  you will  try to  Convince yourself that the person is   perfect When one one is, We as humans , makes Mistakes on daily basis, we have our  Weaknesses .   People who are in relationships  need to  know this, when they recognize that  That sometimes people are fallible,  they will Not put pressure on their partners and  This will help build their relationships    We don't have to see our partners as super  Humans and infallible beings, this is more  Common with the ladies.     Ladies, When in relationship, see the...

 According to Richard and Brenda Excely  In the book tilted : Developing love and  And intimacy in your marriage ",  They called it " Mars and  Venus in the bedroom . The man and woman are different sexual  Creatures,  the way  the man responds to  Sexual urge is different from the way the  woman responds to it.  The man gets aroused easily and begins the Act immediately,  while the woman  is  Still trying to queue in, by the time the man  Gets to climax and feels satisfied,  and sleeps  Off ,  the woman lies awake still unsatisfied.  This often makes women have a bad notion  About sex in marriage.  Sex is called "Love making ", it simply Means  giving love to each other,  as a result  of this,  the man needs to be sensitive to his  Wife's sexual needs and desires, he should  be patient enough to wait for his wife to  Attain the same level of sexual...

    A lot of men wonder why women turn Some will feel they are not handsome Or they are not rich enough , While others will feel it's a curse from their  Enemies that they will never marry. But the funniest thing is that these women  Will end up  getting married to men who are Less attractive than you and not as rich as  You are  or people you feel are  more  Than you. Below are some of the reasons  why you as a  Man gets turned down by women.  1. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE  This can be a reason why some men gets   Turned down by women.  The physical  appearance of a  man matters  a lot,  even if you are very handsome, you  Should learn how to dress well. As a man, you should be able to take good  Care of yourself, buy good clothes,  eat good  And healthy foods, use good deodorants,   Have a good hair cut, and  a well shaved beard. Don't come and be looking lik...

LIFE OF PRETENCE ; Life of Pretence is the greatest canker worm that has eaten deep into the fabric of lots of relationships, especially on the part of the women, it takes a matured and observant mind to differentiate between a real life and a life of pretence. Being oneself will do a person more good than harm. a lot of women feel that pretending to be who they are not will guarantee a happy relationship and marriage , Some women might have had children before meeting a man but will pretend to have had non. some are non virgins but will pretend to be virgins, some are from poor homes but will pretend to be from rich homes. Same thing goes with the men , some will pretend to be rich and working in an oil company but they are road side mechanics. This can only Mar a relationship. The earlier men and women drop the life of pretence, the better for everyone. CO...

Low Self Esteem; This is mostly common in women ,this happens when a woman does not know her worth as a woman, she feels the man is doing her good by dating her, she can't disagree with her boyfriend on some issues, even when it affects her so badly, she can't make her own decisions and stand by it, she is like a wheelbarrow that is pushed wherever the owner wants it to go, she is scared of losing the man, she feels her whole life depend solely on her man, she has lost her worth as a woman, as a woman she does a lot for the man and even when not appreciated she still feel okay with it, she looks down on herself which makes her man treat her with so much disregard , She goes with the African mentality that " A woman's place is in the kitchen " . when ever she visits her boyfriends she will be playing the role of a wife when he hasn't paid 1 kobo on her head. I don't mean that a woman shouldn't help her boyfriend but there should be a limit. most tim...